I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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