She just used a chaser for red wine.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
