It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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