Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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