You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
