He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize