Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
