He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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