Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
