Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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