i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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