that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
