Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
