the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
