We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
