i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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