YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
