Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
