why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
