clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
