theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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