Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
