no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
