so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
