R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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