even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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