Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
