i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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