Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize