it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
