You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
