Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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