I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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