Pregnant stripper...not hot.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
