Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think my moral compass just broke
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize