What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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