WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
