I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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