Michael Bay diarrhea
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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