she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize