oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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