That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
whose parrot is this?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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