yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
