Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize