I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize