Tell her she can't have a vagina
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Too much gin, very little bucket
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
