dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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