Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't deserve a penis
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
