What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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