This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
