We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
