Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
