So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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