If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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