Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
