my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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