Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
