That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
