ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
