So drunk, too bad you don't want this
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
