fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
