you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize