Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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