We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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