Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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