can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize