i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
