East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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