we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Vodka?
Forever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
