how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
