Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize