I should be sponsored by Trojan
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
