I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
